2005 Pacific Life Open News
By Alix Ramsay  |  March 10, 2005

Life is not getting any better for Andy Roddick. It has been four days now since he lost to Ivan Ljubicic in the fourth and deciding rubber of the Davis Cup, dumping the US out of the competition in the first round, and still he feels the disappointment as keenly as if he had just walked off court. There is an invisible barrier around him warning off the hapless and the tactless who may try to question him on the events of the past week. Andy isn't happy and he doesn't care who knows it.

That said, he is taking it on the chin. He lost the match, no one else and he is the one who must face the consequences. As quite devastating those consequences are and may have taken him by surprise, he is doing his best to deal with them.

"With Davis Cup losses you feel like you let down a lot more people," he said. "Selfishly, grand slams are great that way: You feel horrible, you are mad at yourself but when you feel like you let down a lot of people with a vested interest, it just goes a little bit deeper. You just feel a lot lower."

"The guys try their best to pick you up because they've been there before and they know what it feels like. I got nothing but support from my team-mates but that almost makes you feel worse. You almost want someone to come up to you and say "you dumbass". I'd probably agree with them."

Just when he thought that he had hit rock bottom, the Pacific Life Open - a lovely, friendly and hospitable place - took him down one more notch. Trotting out to the practice courts to vent some of his frustration, he looked round to find that he was on the court next to Ljubicic.

"I've got to talk to the practice court desk people," he said, trying desperately to raise a laugh. "I was playing great until he came along. It all just starts running through your mind again."

It did not help that he had to go on national television and relive the misery of the weekend on the Jay Leno show on Monday night. His first instinct was to cancel but after a night's sleep, he thought better of it.

"I talked to my publicist that night and said "pull the plug"," he said. "It's just not something that you want to do. I slept on it and she kind of talked to me the next morning and I realized I'd be a little bit of a brat if I didn't do it. I really wanted them to know that I didn't feel I deserved to be there but at the same time if you make commitments you have to try to honor them and I realized that the next day when I wasn't feeling quite so cynical about everything."

Now his greatest hope is that he can get back on court as soon as possible and start winning again. His first opponent will be either Fernando Verdasco or Wayne Odesnik - and they had better bring a tin hat and some body armor. Angry with himself, furious with his performance on Sunday, he wants to tear someone to shreds.

"Any time you take a tough loss you come back with something to prove and maybe with a little bit of an edge," he said. "Sometimes that can work to your advantage, and that's what I'm hoping for."

/// BACK